Nobody tells you this part.
After the healing, the therapy, and the growth, you expect peace to just feel peaceful.
But for some of us, stability feels suspicious. Like, “Why is it so quiet in here?”
That’s the silent war of post-traumatic living: learning how to rest in safety while your nervous system is still checking for threats that no longer exist.
This isn’t a step backward. This is the awkward in-between.
This is where healing really gets real.
If you’ve ever sat in stillness and felt your anxiety spike, you’re not crazy, you’re not paranoid.
You’re just healing.
Your body has been trained to brace for impact.
Calm doesn’t equal safe yet, not to your nervous system.
It needs time to unlearn what survival taught it.
That means you’ll need grace, not guilt.
Here’s the plot twist nobody talks about: healing comes with grief.
You’re not just releasing pain, you’re releasing the identity that came with it:
the hustler, the overachiever, the “I got it by myself” version of you.
Letting that go can feel like betrayal, even when it’s necessary.
That sadness? It’s not regression.
It’s a sign that you’re growing.
Not every friend survives your healing arc.
Some people only made sense when chaos was your norm.
Now that you’re choosing peace, their energy feels off.
It’s not beef, it’s boundaries.
And peace will cost you access.
Feeling safe doesn’t mean you stop discerning.
After trauma, it’s easy to swing from guarded to over-sharing, from isolation to over-trusting.
But healing also means knowing who deserves your softness.
Discernment is still divine. Boundaries are still biblical.
Don’t forget to vet the vibes.
We talk a lot about the fear of failure, but let’s be honest: success can be just as triggering.
Why? Because it shines a light on the lies trauma told you:
🧠 “I’m not enough.”
🧠 “I’m an imposter.”
🧠 “This will fall apart too.”
But it won’t. You’re not faking it.
You’re walking in answered prayers.
For so long, your identity was shaped by struggle.
Now that life is starting to stabilize, you feel disoriented.
Like you don’t recognize yourself without something to fight.
That’s normal. You’re not losing yourself.
You’re finally meeting yourself.
It’s not all crying in therapy and praying through flashbacks.
Healing looks like:
✔️ Going to bed on time
✔️ Brushing your teeth when depression says don’t
✔️ Saying “no” when you used to say “yes” out of fear
✔️ Choosing structure over sabotage
Discipline is deliverance.
If you’ve lived in chaos, joy feels dangerous.
Like, “Don’t get too happy, something bad is coming.”
That’s the trauma talking.
Joy isn’t the calm before the storm.
It’s evidence you survived it.
Let it in.
Don’t flinch when it finally feels good.
Let’s walk it out together.
📲 Text “ETS” to (803) 205-2071 for more healing convos, updates, and encouragement.
With Love,
Nasir I. Randolph, MSW, LCSWA
#HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #EmotionalHealth #FaithAndTherapy #ThePlugNetwork